


i love you. do you, really?

by jangsol



Series: Dreamcatcher Drabbles [3]
Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Emotional Infidelity, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Infidelity, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23782981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jangsol/pseuds/jangsol
Summary: When you thought you found the ideal love, but...
Relationships: Han Dong | Handong/Lee Gahyeon, Lee Gahyeon/Lee Yoobin | Dami
Series: Dreamcatcher Drabbles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687519
Comments: 27
Kudos: 51





	1. i love you, i love you

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Of Life & Love](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/610054) by Boxxsaltz. 



> I was lying down on the sofa one night, when a scene from one of Boxxsaltz's old JeTi fics came into my mind (this happens quite often). Thus, that is how this Gahmi fic was borne.
> 
> Boxx, if you ever read this, thank you for the inspiration.
> 
> I aspire to be one of those writers who writes 400 words, and it paints such a beautiful scene that it burns into the back of your irises. 
> 
> Note: this is going to be a chaptered drabble, because I can't do that long fic shit with a few thousand words a chapter.

Yubin had fallen asleep by the time Gahyeon came home. But the creaking of the bedroom door woke her up from her deep slumber. Then there was shuffling, and her side of the bed dipped with a weight.

"Yubin?"

She frowned and shifted in bed, trying to open her eyes. Her vision was bleary, and she couldn’t see Gahyeon’s face clearly. Was she crying?

“Gahyeon?” Yubin mumbled, trying to chase away the sleep that had overtaken her.

“Yubin…”

“Mm?” 

Yubin was more alert now, because Gahyeon's voice was breakingly soft, with a hint of something Yubin couldn't put her finger on yet. And, Gahyeon never woke her up in the middle of the night. 

Then lips were pressing down on hers, _desperately_ , as if she was going to disappear in an instant. It took Yubin by surprise, grunting as she tried to keep up with Gahyeon. Fingers threaded through her hair, keeping her in place. Gahyeon was whimpering when they broke apart for a brief second, and when they pressed themselves onto her again there were traces of salt. _That_ woke Yubin up from her slumber. 

“Gahyeon…” Yubin barely managed to get the word out in between all the kisses. Then she was shivering in the cold winter air, covers thrown off. Fingers, frozen cold, splayed themselves on her stomach. Yubin gasped into the kiss. A weight settled on her thigh, wool pants scratching against her skin, and a knee settled between her core. 

“Lee Yubin, I love you…” Gahyeon panted against her lips.

The words made her nervous; Gahyeon never called her by her full name. Then Yubin was out of breath again, her girlfriend relentless with her kisses—teeth clashing, tongue swiping. She wasn’t used to this—Gahyeon, needy, frantic, afraid. Alarms blared in her head. 

“Gahyeon… Gahyeon, stop…”

Yubin struggled with the younger girl, shifting up the bed when the weight on her lifted. She grabbed Gahyeon’s wrist just after she tossed off her coat and sweater, just so she could see her properly. Under the soft moonlight, Gahyeon was a mess—hair disheveled, eyes swollen. 

“Gahyeon, what’s wrong?”

Gahyeon shoved Yubin back onto the bed, pulling her shorts off, and before Yubin could protest, Gahyeon was all over her again, lips, tongue, fingers, and she could only give in at her insistence. Something was _very_ wrong, yet she let Gahyeon take control, swallowing her whimpering kisses, guiding her trembling fingers. She let Gahyeon say the words to her, _I love you_ , over and over again like a self-convincing mantra that seemed less and less of a reality the more she said it. 

As she reached her climax, and Gahyeon sobbed her love for her, an unnerving realization hit her. She wiped away Gahyeon’s tears, pressing their lips together with a prayer that her worst fears didn’t come true.


	2. giving in to tempation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you give in to the temptress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to work on the Siyoo piece for the fic fest. But this one was bugging my mind. Eh. So ya'll get the next chapter fast this time ;)

Earlier That Day

Yubin signed her name with finality on the clipboard, handing it back to the security guard with a smile.

“Here you go, ahjussi.”

“Ahh, thank you. Here to surprise Gahyeon again?”

Yubin smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. “Ahh, yeah…”

“She must be lucky to have you,” he said, nodding in approval as he keyed in the details into the computer. “All done. You know the drill.”

“Thank you.”

She grabbed the flimsy plastic card that granted her the one-time access through the barriers and headed for the lift lobby. Yubin shifted nervously on her feet, grinning despite herself, excited to see her girlfriend. They had been busy of late—Yubin with her music productions, Gahyeon with the projects she was managing for her boss. It was hard to find time to spend together. But her meeting was cancelled today, and she jumped at the opportunity to surprise her girlfriend at the office.

She skipped into the elevator, hands in her pocket, fingering the box she had been carrying with her for months. It wasn’t an engagement ring, no, they were not into that whole fiasco. Why did you have to get married to prove a point? They were together for five years now, and Yubin had known marriages that lasted for less. It wasn’t marriage that was a test of their relationship; you didn’t need to get married to stay with someone forever. At the end of the day, the entire ceremony was for show, and the real vows were exchanged between two lovers behind closed doors, not in front of a whole crowd.

The ding of the elevator snapped her out of her reverie and Yubin walked out, feeling hopeful. Perhaps they could take the next step soon. The couple ring wasn’t much, but still, it was a small step.

Yubin walked down the hallway, thankful that Gahyeon held a senior enough position in the firm to have her own office. It was a blessed place for their mini escapades when they had a little extra time before lunch was over.

She could see the office now, tucked in one corner of the floor, away from the mass placement of cubicles where the regular staff worked at. She thought of knocking, but when she reached the door, it was ajar, and there were voices inside. Afraid to disturb Gahyeon’s meeting, Yubin stepped aside to peek through the crack.

Gahyeon was at her seat, and a woman was sitting on her desk, her back facing Yubin. Their conversation didn’t sound heated, but the executive clearly looked distressed. Yubin stood still as she watched another woman put a hand on her girlfriend’s chest, leaning in to whisper in her ear. She could see it on Gahyeon’s face, when the woman moved forward to kiss her, and she didn’t resist, fluttering her eyes shut—the exact moment her resolve crumbled. So did Yubin’s world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was Beta's reaction at the end of reading this chapter: https://images.app.goo.gl/JsvfbcdozLefvkpV9
> 
> :)


	3. you shatter me to a million pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta's heart was not ready for this chapter.

When Yubin woke up the next morning, the space next to her was empty, long cold. Shuffling out of bed, she found Gahyeon sitting at the dining table, fringe covering her face, the mug of tea in her hands forgotten. Yubin grabbed a mug of tea for herself, sat herself in front of the younger girl, bracing herself for the inevitable.

She had known for a while now that something was off with Gahyeon. The usually-sharp girl was easily distracted, forgetting things she usually remembered, spacing out often. Even her touches and kisses were different. It was as if she felt…guilty. Almost. Yubin let them slip, because she hoped that her guts were wrong. But last night was an eye-blindingly glaring neon sign blinking right before her eyes. Anyone would’ve seen it; there was no point beating around the bush anymore.

“I was at the office yesterday,” Yubin started. Gahyeon didn’t look up, but Yubin could see her visibly stiffen. “I saw.”

Gahyeon sighed, expression twisted. “Yubinie I—”

“How long?” Yubin cut her off. The air was heavy, thick with apprehension. It felt difficult to breathe as the question continued to hang between them. 

“Yubinie…” Yubin did not repeat her question. Gahyeon finally looked up at her, guilt apparent in her eyes. She knew she had to answer the question sooner or later. “I… I honestly don’t know… We…” she licked her lips, “… I don’t know… I don’t know…” She buried her face in her hands. “Nothing was supposed to happen. Yubinie I swear there’s nothing between us. It was just a kiss—” 

The older girl raised an eyebrow. How was Yubin going to tell Gahyeon that she saw how a hand that was not her own, touched her girlfriend in ways no two people who didn’t have an intimate relationship with each other would do? How could she tell her what she saw, when another woman took her lips, and she responded, kissing her back, fingers brushing her jaw?

“Just a kiss?”

They both knew it was more than that.

“Yubinie—”

“I want to believe you, Gahyeon. I really do.”

But actions spoke louder than words, and Yubin didn’t want to believe her eyes—that the other girl would throw away their relationship so easily when they had gone through so much together.

“Yubinie, I love you. You know I love you more than anything.”

“Did you remember that when you kissed her back?” 

It stung, Yubin knew, because Gahyeon winced at the words.

Her pleas fell on deaf ears as Yubin got up from her seat, grabbing her coat and keys on her way out. She didn’t want to argue. Not when she wasn’t thinking straight and she wanted to say every possible horrible thing that came to her head. It wouldn’t be fair to Gahyeon. 

She thought she would be okay when she went back to the apartment later that night. But when she opened the door, the same woman was there, a hand up her girlfriend’s shirt, kissing her neck, leaving her mark. Gahyeon did push the woman away, but it was too late—Yubin’s heart had already shattered into a million pieces, and there was nothing that could piece it back.

“Yubinie—” 

Gahyeon scrambled towards her as she made her way to the bedroom.

“No, Gahyeon. It’s fine. You don’t need to explain anything.” Her voice was level, her emotions were anything but. She shoved some essentials into a duffel bag and swung them over her shoulder. 

Gahyeon clung onto her sleeve, begging her to stay and to listen. But there were no more words that could reason out what she saw. Yubin jerked her arm away. 

She walked out of the apartment, out of the life that she had spent with the love of her life for the past three years, and all the achievements they’ve built for themselves. 

She knocked on her sister’s door, the threshold opening to reveal Minji, her sister’s girlfriend. Her bright smile and warm eyes were a comfort. 

“Minji, who’s at the door?”

Siyeon’s head popped from the kitchen, and Yubin could barely hold herself—a surge of raw, unprocessed pain coursed through her body as she stumbled forward into the apartment.

“Unnie…” 

She fell straight into her sister’s embrace as she crumpled to the floor crying for a love she thought she had, but never did to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates after this will take a while. I need to work on other pieces. But who knows, since this is a drabble fic, if I manage to bust out another few hundred words I'll post an update :)
> 
> https://curiouscat.me/rossier_sol. Here is my curious cat, just for good measure.


	4. confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me long enough to write this.

It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way. Yubin wasn’t supposed to see anything; nothing was supposed to happen. Everything that was supposed to go wrong went wrong, and everything that was supposed to go right, didn’t. Gahyeon dug the heels of her palms into her eyes. No, no, their relationship can’t be ruined like this.  _ It cannot _ . 

Gahyeon stood in front of Siyeon’s apartment door, fully confident this was the only place Yubin would go to. She knocked on the wood, heart racing in her chest. She still had no explanation—there was no explanation. She was wrong,  _ God _ she was wrong. 

When the door opened, she wasn’t ready to see the face she had been wanting to see.

“Yubin—”

“Get out.”

“No! Wait—” Gahyeon stopped the door from closing, barely. She stepped into the house after the older girl, who already had turned her back on her. “Yubin, let me—”

“Explain?” Yubin turned around with a hard stare, and an equally hard expression. It stopped Gahyeon in her tracks because she had never seen her this angry before. “What do you want to explain, Gahyeon? What  _ is _ there to explain?”

“ _ Everything! _ ” Gahyeon wanted all this to be over—she just wanted to run to Yubin, have her hold her in her arms—for everything to be alright with them. “ _ Why _ would I throw everything away?”

Yubin arched an eyebrow. “I don’t know.  _ You _ tell me.”

Gahyeon clenched her fist as tears fell. “Yubin, you know I love you.”

“Do you,  _ really _ ?”

“I do!” She did. She  _ really _ did with all her heart, and she knew she made a mistake. She knew. 

The older girl crossed her arms. “Okay. How did you feel when she kissed you?”

Gahyeon closed her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows. “Yubin,  _ please _ —”

“Answer the question. How was her hand up your shirt? Good?”

She looked at Yubin painfully. “Not as good as yours.”

Yubin clenched her jaw at the unexpected answer. “And the kiss?”

“It wasn’t you.”

The older girl scoffed. “Don’t lie to me, Gahyeon.”

“Why would I  _ lie _ , Yubin?” Gahyeon gritted her teeth as the tears flowed freely now. She moved forward.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ come closer.” Gahyeon shivered at the eerily quiet warning. It unsettled her. 

“What’s going on here?” Siyeon came out of her room. 

“Nothing, unnie. Gahyeon is just on her way out.”

“Yubin—”

“ _ Get out _ , Gahyeon. I don’t need you lying to my face.”

The contemptuous tone rooted Gahyeon to the ground. Somewhere in the house, a door slammed and Gahyeon flinched. Siyeon stood in front of her, eyes sympathetic. 

“Unnie…” Gahyeon called out, her voice trembling. Siyeon moved to hug her. Gahyeon wailed, gripping onto the older sister tightly. “I wasn’t lying, unnie… I wasn’t lying…”

She could only repeat those words, as she too, tried to believe herself. 


	5. the raging storm in my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gahyeon struggles with her body and heart wanting two different things.

They had started out innocently—the friendly smiles, the polite exchanges. Before light-hearted late night conversations quickly turned into something…more.

“I wish Yubin would stop with her work for a moment, y’know. I miss her…” Gahyeon trailed off, hugging herself. “It’s funny how we said we promised to be there for each other, and yet look at us now…”

All she wanted was for their relationship to go back to what it was before their careers consumed them. Handong had been a comforting friend—a much-needed companion during a testing time. But she never expected this—

“Gahyeon, I like you.”

She was lonely, in need of intimacy, but not like this, and certainly not from Handong. She had bolted out of the room in panic that night, but Handong was back in her office the next day, sitting on her desk, confronting her. She was going to ask the other woman to leave, but the hand on her chest trapped her in her seat, the raspy voice in her ear taunting her, “I know you want this too.” 

It sent shivers down her spine, pooling in a heat between her legs. When the kiss came, Gahyeon gasped, her blood pounding in her ears, butterflies in her stomach—melded satin lips tantalizingly heavenly. 

She gave into the feeling, groping in the recesses of her memory for a moment when she felt this way with Yubin. 

***

A late night of business meetings and entertainment went a little too far—one event leading to another. She had a little too much to drink, Gahyeon knew. So did Handong. The woman had been eyeing her all night, even as she poured another glass of liquor for their client. Gahyeon excused herself for the bathroom, body flush from the alcohol. She had barely stepped into the luxurious room when Handong pressed herself against her, trapping her against the wall as the warm breath in her ear spoke of all the dirty things her hands wanted to do to her. Gahyeon found herself moaning, grinding against the hips that were keeping her in place. Handong turned her around, lips burning a path down her neck, teeth nipping at her skin, her roaming hands pulling all the strings that drew taut somewhere in her core. She knew she shouldn’t do this—she loved Yubin—and yet her body was yearning for a release from another woman’s touch. She groaned from the fingers that had made their way down her pants, slamming her head against the wall, mouth open in a silent moan when the digits circled just right. She gripped onto the silk blouse, body stiff from the tension she had been holding in for months. Her hips bucked in tandem with the fingers pumping. She had come undone, almost immediately, in a euphoria of stars bursting behind her eyes, legs weak. 

When she had recovered enough to realize what just happened, Gahyeon pushed the other woman away. There was confusion in Handong’s expression, but there was despair in her heart. She walked out of the bathroom, straight for the exit, not bothering with the hostess who greeted her goodbye. She sat in the car, trying to control her breathing, swallowing the bile of guilt that threatened to rise up her throat. 

Yubin was asleep when she reached the apartment, oblivious to the night’s events. As she sat next to her sleeping girlfriend, Gahyeon thought about it now, what their love felt like when they were just two lovers trying to carve their path in the world. It was a fleeting memory.

She had woken up Yubin then, her guilt spilling into her kiss along with her tears, desperate to remember some semblance of their forgotten love. She slipped her fingers into her short hair, nails scratching at her scalp, fearful of the consequences should the truth surface, and this—Yubin—would disappear—whatever they had would disappear. So she said it over and over—

“Lee Yubin, I love you. I love you.”

—in her futile attempt to hold everything together.

But Handong’s fingers were ecstasy, and Yubin giving in to her did not wash off the lingering traces of her touch. Only her whimpers and clawing fingers bearing witness to the unstoppable agony of her shattering heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always wanted to try something like this--writing one scene but from the perspective of different characters, trying to express the same tension in the air, but with very, very different internal emotions.
> 
> And here it is! The opening scene of the fic, but from Gahyeon's perspective. What do y'all think? >:)
> 
> Also, y'all so quick to judge Gahyeon... give her the benefit of the doubt D: please! It breaks my heart that you're bashing Gahyeon for cheating on Yubin

**Author's Note:**

> Beta. You're a wonderful beta *finger hearts*


End file.
